Texting... the new telephone?

If it's easy to say hurtful things over the phone, then it's a million times easier to say hurtful things via text message.

I would like to make the prediction (based on the idea in the 'Cell phones in Public' article that says we "map our understanding of common social rules and dilemmas onto new technologies) that the phone is becoming a more and more acceptable way to break up with people because it is now considered much more interpersonal and human than text or e-mail. Telephone eliminates the face-to-face but holds you accountable by voice, whereas text and e-mail are devoid of both. My brother just broke up with his girlfriend via telephone. I asked him if she was mad about him not speaking with her face-to-face and he said, no, that she thanked him for at least calling. (I can't say that I would feel the same way...)

I think an updated version of the article on women and telephone use in dating relationships would involve text messaging. A lot of what the article discovers applies not only to my own use of telephones in my relationships, but to text messaging - a type of technology even more lethal/volatile than the phone call.

When I started reading the article, I was skeptical of the telephone as an indication of power. But then, I realized that I've been with my boyfriend for several years and that it was a more or less mutual development. Sometimes we have long conversations, but most of non-face-to-face communications occurs during less than one minute phone calls or text messages. I admit that there have been a few times when I've waited for him to call or had the notion that if he didn't call, he didn't care. (But always ends up calling, and if it's later than expected, he always has a good excuse, haha)

Last night we were discussing how hard it would be to maintain a relationship if neither of us had a car, but I think it'd be even harder to maintain a relationship without a phone - a cell phone, specifically. Technology such as the phone has definitely made maintaining relationships easier, but I think it has contributed to the development of poor communication skills and other complicating factors.

But still, he better call. (Or text...)

P.S. I also want to point out that I don't think it's only women who use telephone calls and texts as validation for emotions. Even though women have the cultural expectation for males to be the one to call and "make the move," I know plenty of guys who have felt hurt when their significant other didn't get in touch...